Unprogressively Sustainable?

It is important that we support sustainable practices. We need to ask ourselves the tough questions, such as: Was this meat slaughtered in a sustainable manner? Is the slaughter process sufficiently cost efficient that my meat supply will be sustainable year to year? Are their any potential threats that could disrupt the process of killing the cow, packing it in plastic, transporting it to the grocer, and eventually putting it in my mouth? We need to ask ourselves these questions to make sure our stomaches are sustained even in hard times.

New Law Proposal

Legislators from California--the state with the worst economy--seem to have too much power in Congress. A new law needs to be implemented that weighs the vote of senators and congressman according to the current economic condition of their respective states, thereby limiting the damage that policies proposed by legislators from states with failed policies can inflict.

Senator Reid Proposes Some Minor Changes to the Preamble to the Constitution

"We the people of the United States, in order to form a more equal union, invalidate justice, insure global tranquility, provide common healthcare, promote general welfare, and secure ourselves by mortgaging our posterity, do re-ordain and re-establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

Adam Lambert's Gay TV Kiss

What Lambert said: "...it happened in the heat of the moment."

What he meant to say: "..I was in heat at the moment."

Obama Clarifies the Significance of Bowing to the Emperor of Japan

"I was not bowing to the Emperor of Japan out of respect for the man, it was simply a metaphor for our new foreign policy" - President Obama

Anti-Stereotyping Campaigns are Destroying Diversity

We are taught from the time we are children to not stereotype. That we shouldn't characterize certain groups by their actions. But, I ask, how are we supposed to help each other maintain our cultures. How is the little Japanese boy to know he is supposed to take absurd amounts of pictures of random objects anytime he goes on vacation? How is the white boy going to know that if he wants to play basketball competitively he better learn to handle the ball and shoot three pointers? How is the little baptist boy to learn to hate gays? How is the little Jewish boy to learn to Jew people? How is the little Asian boy to know he is the smartest kid in his class? Please join with me in my pro-stereotyping campaign to help preserve ALL cultures.

Obamacare becomes Kennedycare

"Nancy Pelosi couldn't even wait until Senator Kennedy was buried to start her smear campaign. This lady is pure evil and it is evident in her latest move to defame the late senator. She was always envious of the overwhelming support that Kennedy received from Democrats and Republicans alike. She has a real jealousy complex. Now that he's gone it is easy for her to slap his name on this already sunk bill and mar his impeccable reputation. She is a smart lady. She will put his name on it and then she and the President will distance themselves from the bill. He will be the fall guy even after he's dead."

-Jamie Pattison Unprogressive Political Analyst