Britain Says: Gays Only!
Britain's Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, who made headlines a fews weeks back by banning US radio talk show host Michael Savage, announced today that Britain's "Least Wanted List" will be expanded to include everyone except homosexuals. "The passive nature of the gays make them the only group that can truly be trusted," explains Smith. "All other people are suspect. With a gay, two things are certain: they are nonviolent and they are loving. It is a privilege to come to our country, and we want people to know what type of people are welcome."
In fear of people posing to be gay to gain entrance into the country, travelers may be asked to "prove" their gayness.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Unprogressive Press Release
Congress Moves to Block Bold Schwarzenegger Deal
San Diego, CA - In one of the boldest moves of these economic times, Gov. Schwarzenegger has reached a deal with the President of Mexico to sell the city of San Diego (and everything south of it) to Mexico. Schwarzenegger defended his move by saying, "this agreement will take California out of the red. Citizens of San Diego will still be allowed to sneak across the border and have free use of L.A. area ERs."
Representative Miller (R-MD), who is heading up the congressional action, said, "The power to sell part of a state is out of the governers hands. The question still remains: Why such a beautiful part of the state? Did he even consider Los Angeles?"
San Diego, CA - In one of the boldest moves of these economic times, Gov. Schwarzenegger has reached a deal with the President of Mexico to sell the city of San Diego (and everything south of it) to Mexico. Schwarzenegger defended his move by saying, "this agreement will take California out of the red. Citizens of San Diego will still be allowed to sneak across the border and have free use of L.A. area ERs."
Representative Miller (R-MD), who is heading up the congressional action, said, "The power to sell part of a state is out of the governers hands. The question still remains: Why such a beautiful part of the state? Did he even consider Los Angeles?"
Unprogressive Quote of the Day
"I am not a homophobe"
"When considering whether to accept the free breast augmentation offered by Donald, I considered equally the pleasure that it would bring to heterosexual males and homosexual females.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Simple Explanations for the Unprogressive Mind
Why 'Fox News' Outperforms 'MSNBC' & 'CNN' Combined
I have been curious over the past few days as to why 'Fox News' does so much better than it's more liberal counterparts--so I decided to figure it out. After watching a couple episodes of "Countdown with Keith Olbermann" it became clear to me; I felt like I was watching the SportsCenter blooper reel of 'Fox News'. Every story he covered was something stupid that some 'Fox News' pundit had said or done (mostly thanks to Hannity and Beck). I guess in short, my answer is a question: Why watch the blooper reel when you can watch the big game?
I have been curious over the past few days as to why 'Fox News' does so much better than it's more liberal counterparts--so I decided to figure it out. After watching a couple episodes of "Countdown with Keith Olbermann" it became clear to me; I felt like I was watching the SportsCenter blooper reel of 'Fox News'. Every story he covered was something stupid that some 'Fox News' pundit had said or done (mostly thanks to Hannity and Beck). I guess in short, my answer is a question: Why watch the blooper reel when you can watch the big game?
Unprogressive Quote of the Day
"Give a man a fish...and he eats for a day. But give a man an extra $15 per paycheck...and he feeds his family, makes his car payment, pays off his mortgage, and puts his kids through college." --Nancy Pelosi
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