A Toast to Obama's Health

Liberal radio talk show host Ed Shultz said that Conservatives "Want Obama to get shot." Nothing could be further from the truth. Do we wish he hadn't won the election? Yes. Would we like to see him lose the next election? Oh yes! The last thing we want is for something to happen to President Obama and leave Joe Biden in charge. Worst case scenario: Something happens to President Obama and Joe Biden leaving Nanci Pelosi in charge.

Please keep Obama's health and safety in your prayers!

Unprogressive Quote of the Day

"In regard to health care reform, we have once again found that the voice of the majority of Americans is not representative of the will of the people." Arlen Spector

New Economic Recovery Plan

"As you can see from the rectangular shape, it is clearly not a pyramid scheme. We have already filled in the top spots and now all the general public needs to do is sign up and get three more people to sign up. It basically guarantees a job for every American. This plan will allow us to pay off our debtors, fund our socialist programs, and reward the most deserving Americans." --President Obama

Unprogressive Quote of the Day

"North Korea is like an unruly husband. He is pompous, arrogant, and doesn’t listen to anything you say. He shoots off missiles with reckless abandon and at very questionable targets. And if you don’t act preemptively, he will embarrass you in front of the whole world."

-Hillary Clinton Secretary of State

A Raise for the Most Deserving!

This Friday minimum wage will rise from $6.55 to $7.25 an hour. Conservative economists are worried that the raise will lead to layoffs. Joe Palmer, a liberal economist, sees it differently. "This has been a long time coming...but finally a pay increase for those who need it the most. This is a big day for teenagers and lazy bums all over the country. This is a victory for Alice Price, a waitress at a diner, who just really doesn't like to exert herself. It is a victory for 17 year old Stevie Olson who will now be able to afford his new Playstation two weeks earlier than planned. It is a victory for anyone who would rather find a new job than disrespect themselves and actually earn a raise by performing the job duties."

Unprogressive Press Release

3rd Generation Prius
"It is not very often that a car comes a long with as much potential to change an entire generation," says Toyota spokesman Jim Patterson. "The 'green' features on this car are going to produce a level of piousness among its owners that we at Toyota couldn't have even dreamed about when we released the first generation Prius. The owners of the new Prius will automatically be enrolled in our new Eco-Friends program. Eco-Friends will be a support group for Prius owners whose smugness has driven away all of their real friends. We will have paid professional actors pretending to care about these pompous people and their problems. The actors will also offer support to those who realize that they paid so much extra for the hybrid that they will never recoup their money through gasoline savings. It's a win win situation for Prius owners. They get to drive a Prius and have friends--something that was impossible with any previous model."

Reverse Racist Racism?

In all of the news surrounding Sonia Sotomayor, we keep hearing the term "reverse racist". This, of course, refers to her comment about a wise latina women making better decisions than a white male and her ruling in the firefighter descrimination case. The term "reverse racist" is in itself racist. When someone is racist we are supposed to call them a racist. When a white person is racist against minorities we call them a racist. When a minority is racist against white people, apparently (because they are a minority) they are a reverse racist. My question is what do you call a minority who is racist against another minority group?